don’t listen to those naysayers
e͡ą̢rn ͡ỳ̧͘o̷̴̷ų͘r̡҉̛ t͟h̶̢r̡͟o̷͘͡n̨̡̨e̛͘ ͏I͕͉̠̭̺̹͇̖̼̫̞͓͋ͦͫͩ͐͋̂ͨ̂̐ͤͅN̗̟̺̝͓̤͖̈̆ͩ̒ͅͅ ̯̝̱͕̟͍̝̳͕̼̻̮̯̦ͨͦ̎ͪͧ͌͛͋͊̊H͉͚̱̬̖̭̻̖̐ͤ̎̽E̺͕̳͈̥͎̥͎̲̺͐ͬ̍̍͑͋̋̄̍̌͌͛̽̅͌L̘͖͖̘̖̼͓͉ͨͯ̽͂̈L̩̳̜̲̖ͯͭ̇͋
Congratulations, you’re a father. Here is a guidebook to help you be a better parent.
If I don’t get one of these when I become a parent, I won’t be dad. I’ll be upset.
Tell me when you have a child and I will make and send one to you.
it’s a metaphor, you see; you put the textbook in front of you, but you don’t give it the power to actually teach you anything
parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”
me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”
my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”
great writers are indecent people
they live unfairly
saving the best part for paper.
good human beings save the world
so that bastards like me can keep creating art,
if you read this after I am dead
it means I made it.